Katniss vs Hermione

Katniss vs Hermione is the sixth installment of Princess Rap Battles. It features main protagonist of the Hunger Games franchise, Katniss Everdeen, battling protagonist of the Harry Potter franchise, Hermione Granger.

Rappers

 * Whitney Avalon as Katniss Everdeen
 * Molly C. Quinn as Hermione Granger

Cameos

 * Chase Fein as Harry Potter
 * Evan Michaels as Ron Weasley
 * John Robert Keena as Peeta Mellark
 * Cole Gerdes as Gale Hawthorne
 * Thomas Stiver as Dumbledore
 * Taryn Southern as Effie Trinket

Katniss Everdeen
I’m Katniss and I can’t miss, I’m the fastest, you can’t catch this

Make a last wish – gonna need three cannons for this hat trick

So sick of your schtick, all I do is win, ya nitpick

That’s why I’m the hero and you’re just a sidekick

Pathetic and predictable – I’m hot on your trail

Coulda had a Viktor, but you chose ginger fail?

I bet with wands drawn, he’s still just a yawn

With performances worse than Michael Gambon

Got a Nimbus up your butt? Well, let’s probe deeper

Never played quidditch but you know I’m a keeper

You must be drunk on butterbeer, now grab a cloak and disappear

Who wants to kick this witch’s ass? Hmm… I volunteer!

Hermione Granger
Oh, there’ll be no trouble ‘cause on stage you struggle

I’ll be charming and disarming while I waste this rubbish Muggle

I’ll end this blasted skrewt, propaganda prostitute

Who thinks she’s so cute with her Girl Scout salute

Just a tribute, can’t decide which guy’s sweeter

Share your bread with Gale, then stuff your mouth with Peeta

How does it help the poor to start a civil war?

Your story’s a bore, why don’t you plagiarize more?

It’s been done before, ask Dumbledore

It’s Battle Royale set in 1984!

And furthermore, If you’re keeping score

That’s five more points for GRYFFINDOR!

Katniss Everdeen
I’ll drill this dentists’ daughter here in her alma mater

‘bout to slaughter this otter, even Potter knows I’m hotter

I stomp career jocks, kick your British buttocks

For this Riddle, second fiddle, you’re the Watson to his Sherlock

Turn back the clocks, tick tock, tick tock

Odds ever in my favor ‘cause you rap like an Avox

Shock the mic like a wire, you’ll fry and die on a pyre

‘Cause you’re gonna get burned by the girl on fire!

Hermione Granger
On fire? Oh! Just like your dad

Or the hospital you visited to film a quick ad

I’ve got the cortex to ace my subjects

I got that bad blood while you run with rejects

These coal miner rednecks need reality checks

You’re just another pawn in the military complex

A fashion figurehead for the underfed

Brilliant, you survived! But Rue’s still dead.

Katniss Everdeen
The difference between you and me is book knowledge and street smarts

Step to the Mockingjay you’ll end up with scar marks

It’s like you’re hijacked, you’re mental, delirious

We find it funny, but you’re dead Sirius

I’m the pro with a bow and the flow to overthrow

Mr. Snow and his whole freaking reality show

Little miss perfect, though what’s truly twisted

On your parents’ happiest day they forgot you existed

Hermione Granger
I bust bars like Haymitch, the smartest witch, I own this bitch

Hey, how are you still hungry in that beefcake sandwich?

Fraud wedding, fake baby, and your flames don’t exist

So-called star-crossed lovers need a camera to kiss

I sling unforgettable verses like unforgivable curses

What’s worse is your universe isn’t immersive

Your glory’s only temporary, your country is a mortuary

Next on your itinerary: kill yourself, eat the berries